Out of beer out of here

Bobbie and Sue lived up the road. They were very much in love and could go hours without speaking, enjoying the quiet company of one another.

The couple would spend most of their days walking to get beer. They would drink so much beer that they didn’t really ever need to eat food. If they felt hungry, they would just eat a biscuit.

(I guess some people can be so alcoholic that they can live from only beer, never be drunk and never feel hunger. This was at least how Bobbie and Sue lived.)

Bobbie and Sue used to own an old pickup truck. Each morning they would drive to the general store to pick up their ration of beer for the day. Finally one day, a sane person, maybe a new police assistant, confiscated their car or maybe the just sold it?

Not deterred from losing their automobile, Bobbie and Sue would instead walk down to the general store, each and every single day. The journey was long, meaning their days were now predominantly filled with walking to and from the store. Of course, all this exercise required energy, which would mean getting the right amount of beer to keep them going.

So, Bobbie and Sue came up with the beer depot system.

A sufficient number of beers would be too much to carry on such a long trip. So each day when they bought their beer at the general store, walking back they would hide half the beers in small depots. They worked out to hide them at a distance of one beers drinking time between each depot, so then the next day they could keep drinking while walking to the store.

So yes, Bobbie and Sue loved their beers.

If you were ever at a party with them – you know one of those parties that lasts into the early morning – you better make sure you have enough beers left. Cause when you’re smoking your last cigarette, scrambling for whatever is still left to drink: either some bad wine, dregs of vodka or anything else you can find to keep Bobbie and Sue from leaving, it won’t work. When all the beers are gone and no more is to be found, they’ll simply say “Out of beer, out of here” and the pair of them will walk home.

Actually Jan even told me about a time, him and Sue went fishing out on the river. Jan had bought what he thought would be enough beer for the two of them that day. (Tuborg of course.) When Jan had finished his second or third beer, and reached for a new one, he saw that the rest were already gone. “Oh, we’re out of beer” he said without much thinking. Just like that, Sue stood up and said “Out of beer, out of here” jumped out of the canoe and swam to shore. “She probably walked all the way to the general store through the forest to get that next beer.